Wow – I can’t believe how much I have been struggling to write this post! School holidays are all but over and I have been feeling a serious lack of inspiration. This has confused me because the last 10 weeks have been incredibly thought provoking – I expected that my brain would have been bursting with things to write about. After some reflection I put this case of writers block down to my poor brain just needing a break. I knew teaching would be hard work; I knew I would be physically and emotionally exhausted but I underestimated just how much it would wear me out mentally.
I have never been great at switching my brain off. If I am focused on something it is usually all I talk about, think about and dream about. School has been no exception. So there is Goal #1 for term 2 – find something to take the focus off school work. Even if only for half an hour. I love knitting, have just begun sewing and adore baking and reading. My goal for term 2 is to spend at least 1/2 an hour every day doing something totally UN-school related.
Goal #2 Believe in myself. By week 3 of term 1 I exclaimed to my poor husband – “I CAN’T BE A TEACHER!”. I felt so completely hopeless and as though I had failed to “become” the teacher I wanted to become. I know you’re all thinking ‘excuse me, you only gave it 3 weeks!?’ and I totally agree (in hindsight). I placed expectations on myself to be better than everyone expected me to be, and along came a whole heap of unrealistic goals. My wise and wonderful team leader kept reminding me “give it til Easter, you’ll feel more on top of it by then” and thankfully – she was right. Good thing I didn’t throw in the towel at week3.
As I look back at term 1 I realise that I actually was very successful in beginning to become the teacher I want to become. I formed relationships with my students (some came more easily than others), I created a classroom environment in which students who initially shied away from risks are now eager to ‘have-a-go’ and I engaged enthusiastically with my team as we navigated our new composite class structure.
In this first term I have discovered something. I have discovered that I am a good teacher – not because of years of experience or my nerdy nature. I am a good teacher because I am surrounded by caring, supportive, proactive colleagues and peers, who push me to believe in myself, challenge myself and remain accountable for the teacher I want to become. Goal #3 Continue to help other graduates remain accountable for the teachers that they are becoming as we support one another along the way.